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Am I Home?

by Matt Hutchings

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1.
Am I Home 03:32
I bring my soul with me Am I home? If your voice, it isn’t there Am I alone? Can’t this road guide me? I’ll take it slow If the signs they aren’t there Should I go? Photograph the shadows of my life Then I hold on to the light And I burn those shadows bright If I knew answers I would tell But I’m missing half the mark And I’m not well So I will sit silent In my room Building patience in my chair I’ll be there soon If I shouldn’t then I know that I should No bad, no good Listen deeper than you ever thought you could If there’s no bad, there’s no good
2.
Symmetry 04:16
I cannot lie To save my life I’ve stumbled here from a colder part When I kept it all inside my heart Tell me What should I make of the symmetry? The way I see it It’s for me Then I try, to shake it off Let it all go, let it fall down In short time We lost our minds We set up camp in a burnt out wood We needed more than we really should
3.
White Heart 03:47
White heart, isn’t it a shame The days are stolen You start, only to refrain No empty words Come closer, you’ll hear my Empty words If I could start again So far, looking over time The landscape changes In part, and when it comes to mind I remember words Come closer, you’ll feel my Beating heart If I could start again I’m asleep at the wheel And time is lost again How I loved you before And know I could again Come and listen to my heart
4.
Inspiration 03:25
I’m struggling here To share all my dreams I see it clear I know it is near Then I fall back down Down in my sheets I’m turning around My feet on the ground Gonna put this behind me (x3) Sing it like I won’t back down I’ve seen it once or twice Then it disappears around the bend Never to return again And if I catch a glimpse I know it’s likely not to last I’m hiding in my sheets again
5.
Reflections 03:36
The calla lily in my room it speaks to me Whatever happened to the boy with all those dreams Tell me again, how you remember when we first met Up by the stage, you were talking to a mutual friend They played that song That tells the story of a long lost love I’ve settled on the fact It was telling what my future holds If I only knew What the story said I could have been more aware The calla lily in my room it speaks to me All of the things I thought we’d do were make believe Tell me again, how you feel about the hardest parts As I have learned, it’s better if we don’t pretend If I knew about my own heart What I need and where to start If I could have kept my head I could have kept my home And seen my lady in the morning
6.
What I Am 02:53
Suddenly I feel like I’m holding on To something I should really leave And move, on from Give up, these thoughts Of what I am It’s here and, I feel it It’s moving in and out of focus (x2) It comes into clarity in short time When I start to quiet down And clear my mind Give up, these thoughts Of what I am
7.
Safety 02:37
Am I holding you down? I know I’m keeping you out While I investigate the mysteries And wonder what it’s all about Over many years My grip has come undone If I thought I would have been safe there Then I wish I would have stayed Did I tell you my fears? Did I make my feelings clear? I should have known about my boundaries I could have kept my family near
8.
It all keeps coming down Down into the fiery gates I see them now All around I let you down, mmmmm After all of this is said What is going to happen to Those words I kept In my heart I let me down, mmmmm I let you down, mmmmm Somewhere in my chest full of secrets I keep it safe Come a little closer my dear I won’t make you wait I feel like I should really have told you I meant to, be Someone you could really look up to I hope you can see
9.
Sit With It 04:17
A hundred years ago Out past the waves That crash into the shore I felt a lighting bolt That put my back against the wall If I told you That I would not Be ever coming back To what has passed To what has passed Come back and sit with it Feel it rush into my head Come back and be with it Let it settle in my chest I see what is coming round He’s moving up slow Without a sound He’ll take what I owe And I know what I know what I know what I know
10.
Slow It Down 02:09
I need someone to slow it down Keep me here in the morning High above the water I’m looking down I’m looking down I’m here right now All the colours Change from green to gold And I see them now Oh, the stories, I have told But I’m here right now

about

This album was written after the loss of a relationship. Yet, it's not a resentful breakup album, rather, a self-reflective inquiry into what really happened. The title, "Am I Home?", is a recurring theme throughout my life - searching for a place to call home, to feel safe and grounded. There are moments of sorrow, and of hope. It's the most honest album I've written, and I'm very proud of how it turned out. I sincerely wish that the expression of my feelings will help someone else connect with theirs and find some healing also.

I am offering this release for free, or pay what you can. Much love.

If you're interested in checking out my studio, please see: hiddensound.ca

credits

released September 4, 2020

Songwriting Credits: Matthew Hutchings
Performance Credits:
• Guitar, Bass, Keyboards, Percussion, Etc. – Matthew Hutchings
• Drums – Eric J. Breitenbach
• Backup Vocals – Char McCutcheon
Mostly recorded @ Hidden Sound in Blaine Lake, SK
Drums recorded by Eric at The Spot Studio in Vancouver, BC
Backup Vocals recorded by Char in New York, NY
Engineered, Produced, and Mixed by Matthew Hutchings
Mastered by Orion Paradis @ SoulSound Recording Studio in Regina, SK
Artwork by Matthew Hutchings

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Matt Hutchings Saskatoon

I've been making music for some time, mostly on my own but sometimes with people. Everything is free to download, so please enjoy!

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